Then They Tried to Put a Cone on My Cousin's Head!

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Then They Tried to Put a Cone on My Cousin's Head!
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You should use a more thorough vetting process when picking your hospitals.

But, stevefoodguy356 Said It Sucked!

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But, stevefoodguy356 Said It Sucked!
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Who cares if he's a 34-year-old morbidly obese guy with half a tongue?

The Customer Can Use Your Product However He Goddamn Pleases

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The Customer Can Use Your Product However He Goddamn Pleases
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Somewhere a man in a blue floral cape is tripping a jaywalker.

~Office Lackey Jack

The Nine Crusts of Hell

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The Nine Crusts of Hell
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When the waiter singles you out for death, everyone else on the waitstaff does their best to avoid you. Dead men don't tip.

job fails - pentagrampizza

job fails - hellno

job fails - jesus