Another great gag from Five Second Films
WARNING: Language is not safe for work. Conversely, the joke is highly relevant TO work. Weigh your options, I suppose.
For added effect, re-read while playing the Jaws soundtrack until the 9th panel. Then, after the 9th panel, play the soundtrack in reverse. Maybe a choir of angels for the last panel. Your call.
Tire swings are so old fashioned. You need a deluxe sofa swing!
Must...Insert Head..Into Buttocks... To Breath!
As for the bajillion other potential excuses they could use, well... good luck with those!