If you are currently able to do this, then Satan may have some pawning options available for you.

"No we're not, you're all losers!" "No YOU'RE a loser!" "YOUR FACE IS A LOS-" "Shut up! Both of you! You're bad for business!"

I guess it's a little less weird than having an account for the dog.

This is what separates The Simpsons from shows like Family Guy or South Park.