Women file office romance HR paperwork... when he walks by their cubicle.
Water coolers are water heaters by comparison.
People don't eat his break room fridge food... purely out of respect.
Seriously though, with all that Dos Equis he's knockin' back, he could really use some good old H2O.
I don't always make larger bottles, but when I do, I make them seem as legit as possible.
The handicapped stall also allows more room for your arm-waving and bicycle-kicks exercises while you're on the john.