Unfortunately, the WiFi wasn't free and the beer wasn't great.

I know how it is sometimes. A long weekend, lots of fun, that total reluctance to continue on and work. Do what you have to do to get through the day folks, I won't judge.

Keeping employees' thieving hands away from a stack of beer is like keeping an ADD person's eyes from looking at a squirrel.

Hopefully "investigation" is code for "party."