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Via: Generals Joes
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This week in Springfield, Illinois the forces of evil have emerged victorious.

Mayor J. Michael Houston has awarded G.I. Joe’s nemesis Cobra Commander the key to the city.

“Springfielders near and far, I accept your Mayor’s generous gift,” he said. “And let it be known that I too bring a gift for every man, woman and child of this city that is so near and dear to my heart; an invitation to join with me. Join Cobra!”

It makes a lot of sense, considering Springfield served as a secret base for the villain and his forces in the cartoon.

The stunt is actually a promotion for the upcoming G.I. Joe convention which will be held in the city, which they describe as the “mythical home of COBRA,” from April l9-12.

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Here’s a supercut of Cobra Commander shouting at everyone because that’s just what he does and will continue to do in Illinois now that they’ve welcomed him with open arms.

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Via: Katu
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Before we dive into the full video of the story: The first person to say "friend zone" in the comments will get permabanned. Just a heads up. Anyway, without further ado:

Via: Media24
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Maybe Orange is the New Black could use this as a plot line next season. 

Via: Associated Press
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Ruby Holt spent the majority of her life on a farm in Tennessee, but just before her 101st birthday she finally got to go to the beach.

After discovering she had never been, two employees at her assisted living center applied for a grant through a charity organization called Wish of a Lifetime, which funded her entire trip to the Alabama coast on the Gulf of Mexico.

What did she think after taking a stroll on the sand and putting her feet in the water?

"It's cold."

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