celeb

how much money have we wasted saving matt damon in movies
Via Quora
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

I think it's time to let Matt Damon die, y'all.

According to Quora user Kynan Eng's calculations, if all of Matt Damon's characters were real, we would have already spent nearly a trillion dollars trying to save him:


Courage Under Fire (Gulf War 1 helicopter rescue): $300k
Saving Private Ryan (WW2 Europe search party): $100k
Titan AE (Earth evacuation spaceship): $200B
Syriana (Middle East private security return flight): $50k
Green Zone (US Army transport from Middle East): $50k
Elysium (Space station security deployment and damages): $100m
Interstellar (Interstellar spaceship): $500B
The Martian (Mars mission): $200B
TOTAL: $900B plus change

What is it about Matt Damon's face that makes people want to keep him safe? Apparently his movies have only grossed $2.7B, so he's not even close to pulling his own fake weight.

matt damon leave him there
shia labeouf voicemail punch A Guy Got Punched for Looking Like Shia LaBeouf, but It's Okay Because Shia Left Him a Voicemail
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Mario Licato got punched in the face and knocked out for looking like Shia LaBeouf. No one knows what the motivation behind it was exactly, but according to Licato's Instagram post about his black eye, the last thing he heard before going down was, "this happened bc you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf". 

The story isn't all bad, it seems like Licato is recovering quickly and he even got a voicemail from Shia LaBeouf himself.  Licato told Cosmopolitan what the voicemail said and it's about what you might expect a rambling voicemail from Shia LaBeouf to sound like:

Hey, this is Shia LaBeouf … I just read an article that you were punched in the face because you look like me?" And he was like, "Aw, man. That sucks. I'm so sorry. But I get it. It's happened to me before." And then he was like, "I don't know. I wish I was in New York. I'd come bring you soup." He was just like, "This sucks. I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry. People are just crazy. Just because you look like me?" I was obviously laughing the whole time. And then he was like, "Here's my phone number. Don't give it to anybody. Please, please, call me back. Call me back if you want to. We could chat. Let's giggle over this. Maybe there's a silver lining in all this. But call me back." And then he was like, "And once again, this is Shia LaBeouf, the guy you got hit for looking like. And yeah, man, I'm sorry. I'm just really sorry." And he was like "Keep your head up, G." And that was it.
sign teeter totter celeb mr t hacked irl - 6938676480
Via Reddit
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

I pity the fool who doesn't appreciate a good word-play or visual pun. No, seriously. What a boring life they must leave.