Twisted Pair? Check. Unshielded? Super check!
I fixed the missing keys by soldering some copper wires to the curcuit board where the keys were, so when I touch the wires toghether, it has the same effect as pressing the keys.
"Please hang up, connect the red wire to the yellow wire, no the other yellow wire, strip the white wire and force it into the audio-out socket, and try again."
And it was cheap.
I hear their plumbers are pretty formidable though...
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