Because you haven't put enough effort into your Christmas lights until your family is in danger.
Ma, Christmas is ah comin' early this yeer!
Who cares if it isn't the season? Clever kludges are always in season!
Too lazy to put a nail in the wall or even duct tape? Take a broom, a folding ruler and 2 screws...
Coffee Maker:$10, Christmas Light Timer:$4, Fresh coffee waiting for you every morning when you wake up: Priceless!