weird

fail guy smuggles gold in his butt
Via: Death and Taxes
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This criminal really went up his own ass. 

A former Royal Canadian Mint worker who tried to steal gold by smuggling it through metal detectors via his butt is getting 30 months in jail. But here's a kick in the pants: He was convicted by Ontario Court judge Peter Doody. 

C'mon, guys. You're shitting me. This is like a murder suspect being
convicted by the Honorable Judge Knife Plundge.

via Fearless Flyer

Please don't put those in your mouth


Apparently, Leston Lawrence, the butt gold smuggler, had the job of "purifying recently procured gold" and being in charge of all irony at the Mint. He got caught trying to cash to checks worth $15,200 from Ottawa Gold Buyers, which tipped off the bank. All in all, he stole 22 gold pucks worth $165,451.14.

via GIPHY

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26 People That Ended Up Looking Like Underworld Cretins After Failed Eyebrow Jobs

These eyebrow touch-ups, tattoos, sin-stains, whatever constitute 'FAIL' in every damn sense of the word, and then some dude. Leafing through these I genuinely felt my balls shrivel up in fear. Picturing walking by one of these nightmare hellfaces in a dark alleyway at the end of a long night, in no way failed to shoot a cold chill down the back of my spine. A few of these terror masks are what I'd imagine seeing gatekeeping the fiery gates of fucking hell. 

But hey. Whatever. All done for the sake of attaining that higher, top-shelf kind of beauty to get an eyebrow raise from the rest of the world, right? Riiight? 

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Guy Breaks Out the Next-Level Cringe When He Gets Way Too Clingy to Pizza Delivery Girl

This is what a complete, blackmailing wet fart of a shitwit looks like. This dude comes across as the kind of spineless, perverse piece of pussy-repellent lard that'd send off dick pics to the nearest stranger on Imgur. Here's to hoping this poor girl reported this extreme case of cringe-inducing ugliness.

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People Pass Around Stories Of the Worst Sex Advice They've Ever Received

We've pried open the dusty Pandora's box of depraved and discouragingly mindless sex advice, and it's expectedly profane. To think that we have sexual deviants running amok out there sticking their manpoles in any hole that will have them, and peeing as they were advised thereafter, for good measure...buckle up and brace yourself my weary readers, cause we are diving deep down the rabbit's hole for this particular AskReddit thread. Expect twisted, occasionally dark-humored tangents.

wtf sex ed askreddit sexy times sex advice weird dating
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The Horrific Sims Logic Twitter Account Highlights the Weird Glitches of the Game, Will Make Sure You Never Sleep Again

While most of us spent our adolescence torturing Sims by, say, putting them in a swimming pool and taking the ladder away, others simply enjoy the creepy world of these gibberish-talking people simulations.

But The Sims can be a real trip, and @SimsLogic documents that trip.

Give yourself over to the world of the Sims and explore its logic with the best of Sims Logic.

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Via: ViralHog
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Sometimes when you have a car that’s worth more than $150,000, you have to show the world that you don’t give an F about S. 

This is even better than one of those screamer mufflers becasue it turns out 20 rubber chickens shoved in a tailpipe sounds like a thousand cats crying for food. 

Icing on the cake? This license plate:


Seems like this would be a good time to post this clip from Beverly Hills Cop. Hey, it involves tailpipes.

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Ex-Disney Channel Star Tweets Dick Pic Saying It Isn't Her Ex-Boyfriend's, Twitter Proceeds to Lose Its Mind

Yes, I'm well aware. We're dealing with a whole lotta weirdness let loose to run around. Where to start and where to end? We've got the ex-Disney Channel Star Ms. Bella Thorne element of this which is uncomfortable enough already, and then you factor in her need to not only tweet a dick pic, but claim it's not her ex-boyfriend's? Yo, this shitness screams seven kinds of emotionally trainrekt.

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