I mean, this night of casual sexytimes isn't going to get rolling on its own.

No, I think you're fine. It only makes you look a tad bit awful.

Fun fact: This noble sea creature was going to be our National Animal until SOMEBODY decided that both the Freshwater Dolphin and the Wild American Turkey were inferior to the mighty Bald Eagle. Lame.

Summer's here! Sit back, relax, and enjoy A Cheezburger Summer!

Flicking the bead, eh? I like these laundry instructions already!

I mean, I'm going to need a Xanax just to cope with thinking about what this shirt is talking about.

My intestines didn't need all that excess space anyway. We're cool.