A Store Clerk Gives a Hilarious Play-by-Play of Her Own Thwarted Robbery

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This man in Salt Lake City, Utah was arrested just minutes after this inept robbery, where he spent five whole minutes asking for cash and cigarettes. Five minutes, in case you weren't aware, is plenty of time to get the police to your location - especially if the sarcastic clerk in question is able to sneak around and get your license plate number.

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A Bank Robber is Behind Bars After Posting All of His Deeds on Instagram

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The best part? He insists that he just "politely asked" for the $150,000 and the bank teller gave it to him willingly. That's no way to get faves and likes, dude.

This $300 Million Dollar Diamond Heist is Straight Out of the Movies

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Guy Ritchie has reportedly already bought the film rights to this, confirmed Jason Statham as the lead, AND signed on 90s blue-collar band Pulp to do an original soundtrack.