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So That's How the Kids Are Talking to Each Other These Days

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What's Screwy, My Mother?

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The Most Devious Mother in the Universe

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Preferably Hint of Lime

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About to Duck

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Are You a Negligent Parent Who Can't Even Remember Your Child's Birthday? Then the iPhone 4S Is the Perfect Phone for You!

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May Goose Tah

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I Find It Difficult to Avoid the Fact That My Ding-Dong Has Invaded Your Daughter's Hoo-Ha on Multiple Occasions

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The Easy Way Out

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Three Loves Were Given That Day

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The Winner: Dad

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Like a Foreign Language

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Always Assume That Strangers Are Child Molesters

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This Also Applies to "People Who Will Go With Me to Prom"

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Happy Monday! This Day Can't Finish Soon Enough

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