When you're at work, wearing your glaringly obvious SECURITY uniform, and someone asks "hey, are you security?", replying "No, today is my own personal Halloween" is briefly satisfactory but ultimately not worth the ensuing tirade and eventual write-up.

When teaching someone how to play Team Fortress 2, the correct way to tell them which team to shoot at is "When you're on blue, shoot at the Red team or vice-versa. The incorrect way is "Shoot people who aren't the same color as you."

The guy in your class has been to Afghanistan, not Azkaban. Learn the difference or at least think before talking. People will think you're insane. #LFMF

There is a station on the Brussels Metro called "Kunst Wet." If you are female do not let people take your picture under the sign. #LFMF

The German word for waterproofing is "imprägnieren". However, you will get weird looks from your English speaking housemate when telling her that you've just "impregnated" your shoes. #LFMF

When about to watch a movie in your boyfriend's room and upon becoming exasperated at his checking the DVD for scratches too long, do NOT say loudly, "quit looking at it-are you going to put it in or aren't you?" His parents won't believe you were talking about the disc, and they WILL watch Disney's Tangled with you. #LFMF