The world is sometimes a scary, lonely, and horrible place. It seems like whenever you open the news these days, something terrible has happened somewhere and it's becoming numbing and ridiculous to even consider that there's good news out there. Fortunately, there are the few news stories that slip through the cracks in the machine , blessing our feeds with some of the most ridiculous heccin' titles imaginable. So sure, maybe there's been a horrific bombing in the Middle East… but there's also…

It saddens us that print media isn't what it used to be. There was a time when if a newspaper decided to have an unintentionally filthy or stupid headline, the ink was set and that was that. Everyone just had to live with the fact that the front page said something like “New Anti-Smoking Law Will Eat Butts On The Street." At least we'll always have these wild classified ads that show humanity at its finest.

This happens way too often.

Big thanks to Florida and its transparency when it comes to arrest records.