WIN!: Epke Zonderland: The Flying Dutchman

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Proof that men can fly.

Epke Zonderland of the Netherlands performed one of the most difficult bar routines ever seen on the world stage -- and nailed it. DAT AIR.

Needless to say, he won gold in the event. The sheer ENDURANCE required to do three maneuvers like that is ridiculous. That routine was nuts. I need some smelling salts.

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There I Fixed It: Dutch Artist Turns His Dead Cat Into a Helicopter

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Dutch artist Bart Jansen was rather heartbroken when his cat, Orville, was hit and killed by a car. However, Jansen decided to memorialize his deceased buddy in a unique way: by turning him into a helicopter.

Yup. A helicopter. Jansen is quoted as saying:

"Now he is finally flying with the birds. The greatest goal a cat could ever reach!"

False. If his body turned into a poptart and he began flying around the sky with a rainbow trailing him, THEN he would reach the greatest goal a cat could ever reach!

After 12: Booze News: Man Attempts Armed Robbery At Bar, Regulars Don't Give A Single F*ck

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Some guy tried to hold up a Rotterdam bar and ended up getting chased out by the unarmed patrons, who were probably more irritated that he interrupted their night than anything else.c

Moral of the story: if you're gonna rob a business in the Netherlands, you better have more than a little ol' gun.

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