But I Need to Keep My Feet Warm!

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This is What We're Saying Carly, Get With It

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Weird, Because I'm Looking For Someone Who Wears Everything on His Sleeve...

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DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

We All Understand, Dude

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Yeah man, I hate that stuff almost as much as poorly-colored text in a captioned image.

Now I'm Just Getting Mixed Signals!

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Which is it, novelty t-shirt? I can't understand you when you're being purposefully contradictory like this!

I Wish I Had Your Problems

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A Toast to That!

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No attempts at humor here, just the truth. Let that one sit with you for a second.