Surprise: This is the Mugshot of Someone Caught Stealing Eye Shadow

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From 5NewsOnline:

The caller said she saw Allen grabbing handfuls of make-up without looking at the color or labels. She didn't appear to be checking prices, either, the report states.

The Half-Beard Strikes Again!

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Clearly these are his mugshots that he's taking as a walking advertisement for Gillette Razor Blades.

Don't Try To Milk This Cow

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The last guy who tried ended up snapped in half.

Thanks For Letting Us Know

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Chances are, if you wear that shirt you already have a problem.

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