Absolutely Smashing

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Absolutely Smashing
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The real question is why a man with a Colonel Sanders mustache would be patronizing a McDonald's. Shameful!

Not the Best in Cosmetic Hair-Care

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Not the Best in Cosmetic Hair-Care
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I mean, if his fillings and teeth whitening are half as good as those hair plugs then it will still be more pleasant than most trips to the dentist!

For All of You "Secretary" Fans Out There

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For All of You "Secretary" Fans Out There
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It's sort of like a Bolo tie for the leather-and-whips crowd.

Let's Scan You Over Quickly... Good... Good... Good... AW CRAP DUDE NO

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Let's Scan You Over Quickly... Good... Good... Good... AW CRAP DUDE NO
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JEEZUS DUDE WHY WOULD YOU? You were SO close to being awesome until you were like "durr hurr I'm going to pamper my feet with ugly overpriced boots today."