Hang on, I've got an emergency shirt in my bag for just this sort of occasion!
Hyper color stripes have never been known for their slimming properties.
The first - and hopefully only - time I've felt compelled to censor someone's back.
There are ways to dress that flatter your size, shape, and curves, but this isn't one of them. This does the polar opposite.
Scientifically Accurate: CatDog
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