(I just met my new step-brother 2 hours ago at my dad's house. We're both mid 20's adults. Dad and step-mom leaving to go to the store.)
Dad: Okay, we're leaving now.
Me: Alright, see you in a bit.
Dad: (Looks at me and step-brother) No having sex with each other.
Me: Oh my God, dad! Go!
(My grandma thought it was totally appropriate to tell me about her first time with my now deceased grandpa.)
Grandma: I looked at that thing and I said "That'll NEVER fit!"
Me: *Awkward laugh* Oh hehe, that's pretty crazy!
Grandma: Say, why don't you ever bring your boyfriend over here to visit?
(maybe it's cause you tell gross sex stories.)
Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross.
Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six months?
Mum: Yes, but we never went beyond kissing. She wanted to stay virgin until married.
(At a holiday gathering, a cheese plate is set out.)
Dad: Hey, honey, come here. Try this cheese.
Me: I don't really like blue cheese.
Dad: No, no, just try it.
Me: (Trying the cheese, disgusted.) Blugh, it tastes really weird. I don't like it.
Dad (pulls me aside): Your uncles and I all agree that that cheese tastes like our wives.
Fake? Perhaps fake. It's hard to tell in this day and age. One thing's for sure, there's plenty more mobile lols and phone mishaps over at Autocowrecks!
Your Status Was Inspiring, But These Comments Make Much More ...
Presidential Candidate Bobby Jindal’s #AskBobby Hashtag Was ...
10 Items That Should be on Your College To-Do List
11 Conversations That Showcase Why Texting is the Worst
Truthful Tweets About Parenting
If My Eyes Are Bigger, My Family Will Definitely Be Around ...
Arnold Schwarzenegger Will Terminate You Online
This Siberian Husky Is Anyone After A Few Too Many Edibles
Bathrooms: The Last Refuge of True Love
Let This Dad Show You How To Hold a Baby
Pick Your Site Name
Tell us more about it