(My little cousin wanted a dog, but we bought him a gerbil.)
Store Worker: which one do you like?
Cousin: The brown one with the big ears
Store Worker: *Hands it to him*
Me: What are you gonna name him?
(Meow from outside door)
Mom: I hear a kitty!
Mom: Wait, where's the kitty? Was there ever a kitty? Am I on drugs?
(Me and mom making dinner, brother's ferret starts running around our feet):
Mom: Put him in the oven, will you...
Mom: Dammit, I meant cage. There's not enough meat on his bones yet. Now the dog...
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