(Talking about my mum's partner.)
Sister: But you do love each other, I know that.
Mum: It's a fine line between love and hate and the cutlery drawer.
Sister: You're never too old to-
Mum: To stab someone? No.
Me: Hey Dad, why did you and mom have me so late in your marriage?
Dad: Well, 18 years ago, your brother came out of the closet. And Mom was complaining that now she'll never have grandkids.
Me: So I was born for the sole purpose of replacing my brother?
Dad: Exactly.(He was dead serious)
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