(At the the gym with my father, to end off our workout we decide to use the rowing machine. He's new at this and immediately starts going as fast and as hard as he can on the machine)
Me: Dad, calm down by, you might start off with a big bang but you will be dead in like 30 seconds. I hope you're not like that in the sack!
Father: Listen, I might not be able to go deep but I can beat the sides off her in those 30 seconds!
(Asking mom what a Kegel ball was)
Mom: Its something you put up your vagina to excersize the kegel muscles
Me: MOM, GOD STOP!
Bother: Oh, I could use one of those right now.
Mom: Well you could put up your anus.
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