(Brother is leaving to go home, his dog dug holes in the yard.)
Mom: You still have to fill my holes.
Brother and Me: *laugh hysterically*
Brother: That sounded wrong.
Mom: Fill in my holes then fix my yard.
Me: We don't live in Alabama, mom!
(Talking to my 9-year-old brother)
Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night?
Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge?
Dad: What are you going to use it for?
Me: (sarcastically) I'm going to smear it on my genitals.
Dad: Mind the cat, that's the kind of pussy you don't want
The Best Way to Deal With Spiders
Watch How "Organic Food Experts" React to Being Fed McDonald's ...
Bet You Never Knew the Firelord Was a Jedi
The Internet is Having a Collective Freakout Over Renee Zellweger's ...
Every Game With Customization Options
Barack Obama Gets Told to Back off This Dude's Girlfriend, ...
Wrestler Randy Orton is Out of Control
Be Careful What You're Talking About Right Meow
Some Can't Stomach These Kinds of Conversations
The Sweet Sounds of a Cat Playing a Theremin?
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more