(Brother is leaving to go home, his dog dug holes in the yard.)
Mom: You still have to fill my holes.
Brother and Me: *laugh hysterically*
Brother: That sounded wrong.
Mom: Fill in my holes then fix my yard.
Me: We don't live in Alabama, mom!
(Talking to my 9-year-old brother)
Me: Hey, do you know who is coming on Saturday night?
Mom: Your Dad, if he's lucky.
Me: Mum, can I use the tuna in the fridge?
Dad: What are you going to use it for?
Me: (sarcastically) I'm going to smear it on my genitals.
Dad: Mind the cat, that's the kind of pussy you don't want
The Future is Now: People Experience What it Would Be Like ...
You Can't Unsee This Side of Disney
What I Expected Vs. What I Got: Super Smash Bros. Edition
10 of the Most Amazing Breakup Texts
7 Signs You Shouldn't Be Together
Incredibly Awesome Couple's Tattoos
5 Examples of Why Online Dating Is A Horrible Place
This Interview is an Example of Everything Wrong With the ...
The 2015 Superbowl Commercials Have Arrived and We've Got ...
This Archer Uses Ancient Techniques That Put Legolas and ...
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more