(My mom was talking to her self at the store)
Me: Mom who are you talking too?
Mom: Myself, I have to talk louder than the voices in my head.
Clearly somebody is very familiar with the art.
(Talking about my mum's partner.)
Sister: But you do love each other, I know that.
Mum: It's a fine line between love and hate and the cutlery drawer.
Sister: You're never too old to-
Mum: To stab someone? No.
Me: *putting on chapstick*
Dad: Is that stuff good for chapped lips? I wonder if that'd work for my asshole... maybe I should get some.
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