My sister, offering whipped cream off of a sundae: Does anybody want this?
Mom: You don't like whipped cream?
Mom: There goes your sex life.
(To my 3 year old niece who is pretending to be a baby doll's mother)
Me: Josie, did that baby come from your belly?
(Josie looks at me as if I were the dumbest girl on Earth.)
Josie: No, it came from my uterus!
The One and Only Jeopardy Contestant to Truly Understand ...
And That's Why You Don't Kick a Man While He's Down
Friday Afternoons Can Be Really Tough at Work
It Seemed Like Just Another College Snapchat Story, Then ...
A BART Employee Reaches New Levels of Laziness
An Alternative Method
Why Don't These 8 Objects Exist in The Real World?
Some Kids Are Evil Geniuses
Photobombing Like a Wrecking Ball
Being an Anime Character IRL Would Be Hideously Uncool
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more