Me doing my bio-chem homework: Mom, do you know how to make DNA strands and put them through protein synthesis? Mom: Well, I had sex with your dad and now we have you. That was the worst lesson of genetics I ever had to live through... Me: Oh Jesus...

Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is! Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date. Me: ... Huh? Dad: It helps unzip your genes! Ha!