The National Anthem Butchered Yet Again, This Time By the Fray

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The NCAA March Madness Championship opened with a whimper last night as The Fray sauntered onto the court and promptly butchered the National Anthem. Choosing to play it with a tambourine and bongos may have been a bad enough decision, but the horrifyingly out-of-tune and jangly guitar turned a bad rendition into an atrocity.

Ornament That S**t

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Ornament That S**t
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USA's national anthem, as it's sung at every sporting event, with the melisma turned up to 11.

The Most Painful Rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner Ever

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From a recent Dallas-Los Angeles Major League Soccer match.

Look, we know she's 11, and we also know that people who pick on children online are contemptible bullies with major insecurities about their sexual organs, etc. etc. But a performance this egregious can be a learning opportunity not only for whoever billed her to open the game, but also for her, that she's not (and shouldn't want to be) Christina Aguilera.