It's also George Washington's birthday, but he was a better president than singer. Wooden teeth are terrible for your voice.
Concerts are fun until you're too old and crotchety to tolerate things like getting someone else's urine on your shirt.
Joke's on you! We're actually softcore!
It's cool, the amount of bleached hair and cleavage is directly proportional to the probability that she's lip-synching.
Why hire an actual DJ when you can get a guy to stand behind a turntable and wiggle his arms?
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