Before peeing in the woods, always thoroughly survey the surrounding area. You might be standing next to train tracks. A train might come by, and many, many people might see you relieving yourself. #LFMF
When using the urinal at school NEVER, under any circumstances, turn to look at the graffiti on the stalls. You will get piss all over your friend's foot, ESPECIALLY if said friend is wearing flip-flops. You will hear this for the rest of your school days. #LFMF
Using sneezing as an excuse to miss the toilet thing? Not just for the guys. #LFMF
Running into a glass door that is spotlessly clean and thus appears to be open can be made worse when you fall to the ground and laugh so hard you pee your pants. At work. #LFMF
Before peeing in the woods, check for electric fence wires. I'm just sayin'... #LFMF
When drunk, attempting to pee on the moon sounds like an awesome idea. It is not, you will need a change of clothes. #LFMF
When giving a urine sample at the doctor's, make sure you realize that your bladder holds more liquid than the cup you're holding. You'll won't be paying attention, then you'll be wondering why your hand is getting warm, and finally, you'll be cleaning up pee off the bathroom floor in a mad rush so no one gets suspicious why you're taking so long. #LFMF
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