No matter how crucial it is to your explanation dont start your explanation to your dad about why he has to drive 2 hours to pick you up and take you to the doctor with "so, I gave this guy a blow job."
When speaking to your seated very attractive female superior NCOIC, never try to sneak a glance at her great legs when she moves, exposing her naturally hiked up skirt. You will be caught, and consider yourself lucky if all she does is pull the skirt down, and glare at you.
Always tie the strings provided on your skirt. They are there for a reason. Because when you are doing laundry at a public laundry facility, your skirt will fall off and everyone will see your undies. Dont try to look smooth by putting the skirt in with your laundry, because then you have to wait in your underwear for it to finish washing and drying. And people are watching you. #LFMF
A few hours later you might not notice any remnants of your atomic hot wing sauce even if you happen to touch your manly bits - but rest assured your lady friend will pick right up on it if you touch her lady-bits that night during the sexytime... #LFMF
Gentlemen; When sending a text to your girlfriend which explicitly details what you want to do to her sexually, make sure it is sent to your girlfriend and not to your male best friend. Things will get more awkward when he discovers the photo attachment.
When coming out of the ocean wearing a shorty wetsuit borrowed from a friend, and feeling cool like James Bond because everyone is watching you, remember that that huge water filled bulge at your groin is actually where your ass is supposed to go when you've got the suit on the right way round!
If you and your partner enjoy spending your day naked from time-to-time, make sure ALL the cutains are closed.
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