Sherlock fans: If you must read Alone on the Water, by all that is good and holy, DO NOT listen to "Cancer" by My Chemical Romance afterwards. You will cry like you've never cried before.
If you lie about having cancer to hold on to an unhappy boyfriend, make sure said boyfriend's best friend isn't a cancer survivor. Otherwise your lie WILL be exposed, and it will be at a Cancer Support Group when it does. #LFMFriend's ex'sF
While writing that very important essay on cancer, the paper you were reading was from annals of oncology, notice the number of Ns in annals... #LFMF
Remember, it's prostate cancer, NOT prostitute cancer. Remember this before talking to your teacher about how much you empathize her husband because he has prostate cancer.
Women don't have prostates. Your family will laugh at you when you wonder why prostate cancer is rarely reported in women. #LFMF
It's not a mole that you've recently discovered and thought, "Hmm, has that always been there?" It's skin cancer. Get it looked at before they have to take a softball-sized chunk out of your leg. #LFMF
Never take your ex-girlfriend on a two thousand mile roundtrip roadtrip just to see a guy she thinks she is in love with. He isn't in love with her, she won't repay you, and she lied about having cancer. #LFMF