Fired

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If you need to check your personal emails at work, make sure your computer is not connected to the public screen which displays announcements. People WILL see the nude photos of you and your wife. And by people I mean 50. #LFMF
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Poked

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When your husband gets out of the shower and starts to do a little dance get out of the way because he will trip over a table and you will end up with a penis in your eye. #LFMF
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Better Be a Big Tipper

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When doing a delivery and someone answers the door in a towel, tell them to get dressed and you will wait. If the towel hits the floor you can't unsee what is under the towel. #LFMF
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