The Key to Any Good Theft is Subtlety. And Being Really, Really Obvious.

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Witness the Glorious Ineptitude of This Attempted ATM Thief

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This Jerk Got Caught Red-Handed Loading Other People's Deliveries Into His High-End SUV

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Next Time You Think You're Dumb, Remember This Mugger Who Called the Police After He Lost His Phone... While Mugging Someone

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Paul Knight from the UK here ripped away a woman's bag (perhaps searching for the cheeky Nando's inside) while she was walking home with her husband. After he had left the scene he realized he dropped his phone along the way. And what better way to get back your lost goods than ask the police for help?

That did not end well.

The money quote, however, comes from the case's judge Edward Bindloss:

You dropped your mobile phone and in a rather unsophisticated act you telephoned the police and inquired if someone had handed it in. That is how you came to be arrested.


This Crook Thought it Would be a Good Idea to Swipe $15,000 in Goods Next to a Krav Maga Studio

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That's David Menzies right there. Mezies had a plan so simple it was stupid: Test drive a new Jeep, smash and grab some goods from a bike store, then drive off with his new vehicle.

What he didn't think too much about was that the store he wanted to rob was right next to the Hammerfist Krav Maga school. That's where co-owner Jason Carrio comes in. 

Carrio attempted to call the police, but when it was clear that Menzies was about to make away with the bikes and goods, he ripped him out of his vehicle and subdued him until authorities arrived. A pretty ballsy move!

Almost as ballsy as trying to conduct a robbery next to a bunch of trained martial artists.

A Woman Wearing a "Won't be Caught" Shirt Stole $1500 in Beauty Supplies.

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They were captured on camera on their way out, but no arrests have been made. You have to admire the moxie, the raw daring of wearing a shirt like this during a theft.

Bonus points: Of course this happened in Florida.

Doubling Down on Criminal Stupidity

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