Criminally Dumb Criminal

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Via: Daily Dot
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Via: NBC Miami
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From NBC Miami:

A West Palm Beach, Florida, man listed his occupation on an arrest report as "drug dealer,'' police say.

Deputies say 25-year-old Robert Phillips was arrested Tuesday after he cut in front of an unmarked Palm Beach County Sheriff's car and nearly caused a crash. A records check found that Phillips was driving a stolen car.
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Via: The Smoking Gun
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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance.