Criminally Dumb Criminal

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Via: The Smoking Gun
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From the Smoking Gun:

A trio of teenage burglars who stole cash, jewelry, electronics, and prescription drugs from a Missouri residence also thought they got away with a stash of c0caine they found in a wooden box, only to later discover that the powder was actually the cremated remains of the homeowner’s father, police report.

Upon determining that they were not, in fact, in possession of c0caine, the teens discarded the remains out the window of their getaway car. One of the burglars actually tasted the powder and realized it was not a controlled substance. 
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Via: Sunderland Echo
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Paul Knight from the UK here ripped away a woman's bag (perhaps searching for the cheeky Nando's inside) while she was walking home with her husband. After he had left the scene he realized he dropped his phone along the way. And what better way to get back your lost goods than ask the police for help?

That did not end well.

The money quote, however, comes from the case's judge Edward Bindloss:

You dropped your mobile phone and in a rather unsophisticated act you telephoned the police and inquired if someone had handed it in. That is how you came to be arrested.


Criminally Dumb Criminal news Probably bad News iphone - 8425808896
Via: CNN
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Is this Marvel's newest superhero?

A man in China was arrested this past weekend for trying to smuggle in 94 iPhones from Hong Kong where they are cheaper to purchase.

Customs officials were suspicious of the way he was walking, so they had him go through the metal detectors.

That's when they discovered $49,000 worth of Apple products (both iPhone 6 and iPhone 5S models) taped to his midsection in this makeshift suit of armor.

Crotch Siri is now scarred for life.

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Via: Jezebel
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From Jezebel:

"I have drugs inside my v@gina," Crosby uttered spontaneously and then, when she was asked to remove them, she said "ouch." Again, that sounds really painful. The officer asked if she was okay and Crosby said "the foil is hurting the inside of my v@gina" before producing a foil-wrapped rock of crack c0caine which she had just been paid $100 for.