I had no idea I was every superhero ever imagined!
Florida Man is to superheroes what Billy Bob Thornton was to mall Santas. Seriously though, it seems like an inordinate number of crime news articles start with a male from the Sunshine State getting into some sort of legal trouble. Something in the oranges, perhaps? Regardless, here we see an enterprising Twitter user taking it upon himself to chronicle the misadventures of everyone's favorite alcoholic, drug-abusing, domestically violent, sociopathic, prankster/criminal/general numbskull out there. It's a burglary, it's a DUI, it's Florida Man!