Sugar Daddy for Hire

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You stay hard while you're cooking and cleaning? You get turned on by the oddest things.

He's Hiding His Desperation Well

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Ladies, please, I have very high standards. Applicants must be between 18 and 90, and anyone outside of that range will not be considered. I won't take just anyone.

At Least He's Honest

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I'll give him credit for this: the first word he chose to put in bold was "deeply." At least he knows how to be suggestive.