This is what they call in professional circles the "proactively implementing optimal workplace conditions for productivity."
Oh, you must have been thinking of our sister site Auto Cow Wrecks, your #1 destination for cow-meets-car FAILs on the intertubes!
You see, Yellow Pages, there's this thing called the internet. It fits in our pocket and weighs considerably less than a thousand pages of pulped wood fibers. I'm sorry, but it's time to move on.