Say That to My Face Not Over Text

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Say That to My Face Not Over Text
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From the submitter:

This is what happens when I text my mom instead of my friend.

An Absentee Excuse That's Worth a Lifetime

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An Absentee Excuse That's Worth a Lifetime
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Submitted by: Sally
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You're welcome, young stranger! Unless this is spam in which case go die in a fire.

It's Times Like These I'm Glad I Ate My Twin While in the Womb

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It's Times Like These I'm Glad I Ate My Twin While in the Womb
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Submitted by: Unknown
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For those times when you're texting but don't want those CPR dummies to see you.

Story of My Life

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Story of My Life
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Submitted by: Unknown
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My life in a nutshell. Specifically a banana nut muffin with cream cheese spread on top. DON'T JUDGE.