Attaching pepper spray to my cell phone is a surefire recipe for me accidentally blinding some poor innocent in a bar while I'm texting a friend.
I don't know, I think anyone with a strong preference for ironic and/or retro accessories would nab that right away.
People have already been complaining that Siri doesn't provide enough information on birth control, but THIS IS GOING A BIT TOO FAR.
Have you tried switching it off and then back on again?
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