Thanks a Lot, Technology, for Giving Me Unreasonable Expectations

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I Only Love Siri For Her Body

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But Only in God Years

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A GPS is similar to God in many ways: it has a bird's-eye view of earth from space and it tells you what to do and where to go. The only difference is that a GPS isn't more compliant when you sacrifice a live goat in its honor. At least I don't think it is. I've never tried.