NOPE Not You

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burn,iPhones,marriage,not you
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And on that romantic note, I bid you adieu.

Spermnapping

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baby,conception,dating,fiancé,marriage,pregnancy,pregnant,relationships
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From the submitter:

So my fiance really wants to have a baby.

I'm not sure "really wants" is strong enough, dude. "Passionately craves" might be closer.

What *REAL* Married People Text To Each Other

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AutocoWrecks,b-hole,business,butthole,censor,error,marriage,married people,verizon
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Butthole is unacceptable, but douche canoe gets a free pass. This makes perfect sense, because "douche canoe" has been scientifically proven to be the sixth-most hilarious two-word phrase in the English language.

BRB, Getting Married, LOL

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Presenting the second most inappropriate time to text. The most inappropriate time is when you're a pall bearer at a funeral.

Got Hitched LOL Txt It

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comic,facebook,marriage,texting
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But What Do You Think, Now That I Have Your Attention?

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carousel,divorce,marriage,mom,parenting,Wrong Contact,wrong number
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Drat, why does "Son" have to be so close to "Marriage Counselor" on my contacts list?

Siri Gets Sirious About This Relationship

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When a robot "speaks" in ALL CAPS, I usually expect there to be more shouting involved. At least some flashing lights in the background.