Warning: Your Ears Will Melt Off Upon Hearing the True Voice of the Lord

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I don't know about you, but using my hands to pray is such a hassle when you can just pick up the phone and take advantage of a direct line to the Big Man himself!

But Only in God Years

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A GPS is similar to God in many ways: it has a bird's-eye view of earth from space and it tells you what to do and where to go. The only difference is that a GPS isn't more compliant when you sacrifice a live goat in its honor. At least I don't think it is. I've never tried.

Meeting Your Maker

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Kids! No matter how committed you are to building a personal relationship with Jesus or any other spiritual icon, don't text Him while driving. Or anyone, for that matter.

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