D'oh!

Favorite
dial,dialing,fat,fingers,homer,screenshot,simpsons
- -

As they make phones smaller and smaller, this is my secret fear, especially with touchscreens. Soon all my texts will say "hey do you feel like cnx hogi wejlhnlh vhcio?,)?"

What I'm Saying Is That You're Fat

Favorite
fat,insult,self portrait,whale
- -

I Brake For Biscuits

Favorite
biscuits,fat,cheating,biscuit brake,what was that
- -

The Largest State

Favorite
fat,mississippi,obese
Tags
By Unknown
- -

Then Why Didn't You Say Something Earlier?

Favorite
fat,fatblog,obese,siri
Tags
By Unknown
- -

But Your Beard Is So Soft and Feminine!

Favorite
dating,dude,fat,relationships,wrong number
- -

From the submitter:

My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.

But There's So Much Protein!

Favorite
calories,fat,popular,protein,sperm
- -

My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and is 250% their recommended serving of saturated fat.