But There's So Much Protein!

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But There's So Much Protein!
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My milkshake brings all the girls to the yard, and is 250% their recommended serving of saturated fat.

D'oh!

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D'oh!
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As they make phones smaller and smaller, this is my secret fear, especially with touchscreens. Soon all my texts will say "hey do you feel like cnx hogi wejlhnlh vhcio?,)?"

I Stopped Wearing Weaves and Lost SIX Pounds Instantly!

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I Stopped Wearing Weaves and Lost SIX Pounds Instantly!
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Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!

But Your Beard Is So Soft and Feminine!

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But Your Beard Is So Soft and Feminine!
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From the submitter:

My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.

The Future Is Coming

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The Future Is Coming
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Sure is extra future today. Maybe we just need a change from all the nostalgia stuff we've been doing lately.