You and Your Dial-Happy Finger

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You and Your Dial-Happy Finger
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By Unknown
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Miss Manners suggests that everyone abide by a 30-second grace period before sending a follow-up text.

This Is Why We Never Sleep

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This Is Why We Never Sleep
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Yeah baby, I'll keep you up all night. With my lolspeak and my emoji.

"Emoji" does sound pretty dirty.