breaking up

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That awkward moment when you realize you've been on The Bachelorette this whole time...

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I still remember how he let his urine sit in the toilet bowl until the bathroom smelled like rancid cheddar... its color a varying shade of yellow, depending on how many cups of cherry kool-aid he'd had that day. I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

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Writing a message out is always classier than texting one. It's like the difference between sending an invitation to a fancy dinner party on a crisply embossed cream-colored card vs. an email featuring comic sans and clip art.

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You're not even going to fight a little bit? Just to make me feel more desirable? Eff you.