From the submitter:
Thought it was a friend joking around, but then it turned weird really fast. None of my friends owned up to this btw.
It's time for a learning opportunity, whitefriend! Speakers of certain English-language dialects sometimes refer to automobiles as "whips." The more you know!
When I read the first line I thought this was a text from Michael Jackson Aging In Reverse™ (too soon?).
I like my coffee like I like my smartphone screens, which is glowing only when I want it to.
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